It's only been recently that I started on embarking on my journey in getting my life back on track again, after
far too many years of neglect upon myself, of my needs, my ambitions, my dreams, and of all those goals I had set for
myself when I was younger, and wanted to see manifest in my life.
For too many years, I have had a lot of unforeseen obstacles thrown into my path in life. None of them of
course, were planned. One of those obstacles has been dealling with panic disorder with agoraphobia. There
was one point in my life where I was completely housebound~~I couldn't even leave my apartment to go and get the mail, without
freaking out with anxiety/panic attacks. I am now considered a recovering "phobic" and have been listening to Lucinda
Bassett's "famous" 15-tape program,"Attacking Anxiety"---but I feel at times as though I'm going at a snail's pace..
As if developing, out of the blue, this stupid (and yes, it's stupid) condition weren't enough, other
obstacles and negative conditions were thrown into my life, such as having felt the need in taking on responsibilites and
shouldering the burdens of mananging and "taking care" of things, that shouldn't have been mine in the firsr place.
All these obstalces were to put my goals and ambitions in life to a screeching halt.
No, the circumstances haven't changed in my life--yet--they are still dangling in front of me--but the years
are slipping by all too fast---and I'm not getting any younger--Oh how I wish I had Hermione Granger's time turner and
go back in time. But I can't let any more years slip by without going after my dreams--and they are many.
Perhaps there are several people I have to thank for inspiring me to get my life on track again. One
is Julia Cameron --I devour her books (The Artist's Way and The Right To Write) and view them almost like bibles for those
of us who are not only creative, artistic people such as myself, but those books are ideal for anyone who wishes to get on
with their lives. Another instrumental book, is by Barbara Sher, entitled, "Wishcraft" and is great for goal-setting.
And lastly, believe it or not, there's the actor Viggo Mortensen, who played the role of Aragon in the Lord
Of The Rings movies. He's not only an actor, but artist, photographer, writer like myself--oh yes--I also studied acting
in my younger years.
You'll perhaps notice here on my site, that I have rather upbeat sayings and quotes. Oh, yes, I could have
written out really dismal, depressing, negative blogs, but life can be negative enough--I save all my "angst" entries in my
own private journal/morning pages and that is for me to read alone~~So I choose to post things that are rather upbeat.
They make me feel good, and I hope anyone else reading my site will feel good as well.
Enjoy my site~~Welcome~~
It's funny--perhaps I am getting better and overcoming my panic disorder and agoraphobia--without medication, I might add-----even
though I don't think so, or at least, not fast enough as I'd like--cause only a few years ago, I never used to want to admit
that I had a "problem"---Like most phobics, we all tend to hide our problem--we don't want to appear weak, or falliable --After
all, to admit we have such a problem--oh my goodness!! What will people think?? Most phobics greatest fears I suppose
is the attitude or viewpoint of others will have of us if they found out we have this problem--they'll think--oh, my gosh--this
person is a looney tune.
Now here I am admitting to just about anyone and everyone who will listen (poor person--LOL) about my problem----But
you know what?? It has been therapy in itself for me to admit to my problem, cause, gee!! Everyone has problems--Everyone
has some "thing" that they are dealing with. With me it's panic disorder with agoraphobia--with someone else they might
be a struggling alcoholic or drug abuser trying to overcome their problem; another might be clinical depressed, or dealing
with an abusive spouse, etc.etc.--We all have something to deal with, and it doesn't make us any less worthy.
Panic disorder is nothing more than overblown anxiety gone haywire, and who doesn't have anxiety, especially nowadays
with the world the way it is---I just have to keep reminding myself, if I'm having an "anxious" episode--it's just anxiety,
nothing more--I'm not going to pass out, go crazy or die--it shall pass.
Oh, yes, I might whine and wonder why all these negative circumstances have occurred in my life, and at times
feel completely overwhelmed by it all, but by my having opened up to people, and most importantly, listen to the negative
circumstances going on in other peoples lives, my problems sometimes seem so insignificant, and makes me realize that
no one is immune from problems in life.
One thing that amazes me is that, here I am in front of a computer--usually at a library or Internet place--you
see I don't have my own computer yet--but only a little while ago, I could never have imagined myself out for several hours,
away from home, in a public place doing stuff on a computer--and my incentive for learning is of all things--being a Lord
Of The Rings fan I wanted to join the official club--and it has to be done all online---now of course, I can't wait to get
my own as I'm a computer geek!
Now, perhaps the reason I'm writing all this is that if any of you reading this happens to have panic disorder,
agoraphobia, or extreme social phobias, I invite you to contact me--perhaps we can do a support thing to help each other out.
I include here some websties that may prove a help to anyone else who has a similar problem as myself:
THE MIDWEST CENTER FOR STRESS AND ANXETY, INC
This is the "home" of Lucinda Bassett's "famous" 15-tape audio tape program
and is the one I've been using.
POWER OVER PANIC
ANXIETY ONLINE REFERRAL:
This includes a listing of therapists who specialize in anxiety problems.
Feel free to visit any of these sites